Bloody Strangers…

Tide turned… days changed….Fist opened and I held nothing…

Twilight changed into night…. pitch dark outside…

I wait for a sign, for a ladder, for a route

But, the blood that flows through me… flows off…

 

True turned to false…right went wrong…

Known became unknown ….

Faces that I knew became faceless today…

And, the blood that flows through me… flows off…

 

How I wish my faces would have supported…

Would have understood… would have been there…

But instead they drifted … can’t say if they ever were there first place…

And this way the blood that flows through me… flowed off…

 

The flown blood seems happy now…

Listening to memoirs of broken me… it seems rejoiced…

Each time it boiled against me, a part of my existence died out…

Not a single drop of blood is left anymore;

I see only faces around…. Strangers!!

 

 

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Power of Silence….

Power of silence is infinite….

It gives time to sort out things in your head before speaking…it gives time to cool off the brain… it gives time so as to avoid acting in haste…it gives time to also look at from other’s perspective…. We all are aware of this although we may only seldom implement it…!!!

I won’t say that silence to me is achieving all the above, but silence has given me something far more enriching and custodial which will be with me for the rest of me on this earth, and that something, is understanding of my own self…!!

In those moments of silence I have tuned into me, heard what I wanted, knew what is to be done next, treasured my experiences, adjusted to the environs, and moreover accepted and tolerated a whole bunch of variety called… people!!! Sometimes I succeeded, at other times I failed…but each time it gave a new dimension to what silence can do for me…!! Silence is not keeping quiet when you are supposed to speak… but it’s about keeping quiet when you are supposed to think, analyze and improvise…!!!

This to come off from someone who once said: – “Kill the Silence…” is something else really…!!!

Maybe it’s all a part of- “Growing up…”!!!

Actually, am pleased with the thought of still growing up…!! To feel that “a kid in me has still not got over”, is not a bad feeling after all….

Change…

Change… 6 letters that make up such a powerful word!

Change is inevitable as I have been hearing all my life… but it would have been ideal if this change would have limited itself to only one area of my life at a time…!!!! It really doesn’t ask me, whether I am ready yet?

Change… good or bad… big or small…is still a change.. and it is changing my life…!!!!

New life.. new city… new people…and the new circus begins…!!!

Tired….

To do what is right or to do what I feel is right? To do what is ideal or to do what my heart wants? Why every time there is something missing? Something not quite on same page with me…?

Tired… is too small a word…!!! 

Finding thy purpose…

Life, Experiences, Situations, People, Strangers, and everything else around teaches something profound and concrete … something that we take with us and go about doing our usual chores each day… 

Many say we are here in this life with purpose and we need to find it someday… to truly understand what we are made for…!!! Still in real life can u name at least 10 people whom you know, who have found out what they are made out for?

More often than not, the ruggedness of life gets onto everyone … everyone has to go through the cycle of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices, adjustments, compromises in their life…no one is spared from that… only thing that differs is the amount in which each one does that. 

Getting to know your own true self is something that not many can accomplish in one’s life…societal theories, peer pressures or religious dogma you can call it anything you want… are the forces which most certainly stops one from getting up close with one’s own self..!!! But then leaving behind these barriers and obstacles some does reach that point of pinnacle wherein the fear to face one’s self, its needs, its dreams and its wishes vanish…and ultimate bliss sets in…!!! 

Putting up a mask and performing on the world stage to someone else’s tunes is by far something that we all do to some extent in our lives. Human mind and psyche is programmed to think about society, its norms, its cultures, and slowly this ability to think about society and the world at large sets in, in our day to day living too…!!  We can easily recollect incidents where in we have done something just for the heck of doing it…at least I can in all my sincerity and honesty can accept that yes I have done few(read many) things just because someone else was doing it, or it just looked cool to do it…!! But as they say life is the biggest teacher one can ever get in one’s life…. as we meet new people…see new places…get new experiences… we evolve… and slowly and steadily every individual ultimately carves out his/her own identity in this world!! A point reaches in one’s life wherein being compared to someone else just seems shallow…and individual goals and milestones is all that ultimately matters… 

Is finding your own purpose any different???

The flowing dots…

Life never stops to surprise me… it almost always tells me, teaches me, makes me realise something, when I least expect it to…

Very recently I was being questioned by one of my close friend as to whether I believe in closures?

I would be lying if I would say I got it what she was hinting at… looking at my dumbfounded face she volunteered to explain…

‘Closures as in something that can mean completion of something… or getting done with something or someone… or it can merely mean that you have achieved what you wanted to and now you have moved on to better stuff in life….’

My expression hadn’t changed a bit… I was still dumbstruck with the thought “did I not get her? Or I don’t have an answer???”

We left that conversation there… but the question never left my mind….

Then while reading my article for office magazine she said something which had never crossed my mind before….

“A small dot can stop a big sentence…but few more dots can give continuity… Closures are not for you….”

Hmmm…..

Right to choose…is it that difficult to grant one ?

Music player crooned the song “uff teri ada” from Karthik calling Karthik…. and in a split second…Rushali did her gig…she was lost in her world of moves, dance and one could easily make out the bliss on her face when she grooved to that song…!!! For a 4 year old, she was way above average when it came to dance…and performance…!!! Even Ramesh could not stop himself from capturing his daughter’s innocent dance on his handy cam. There were many who liked the video when Ramesh uploaded it on the facebook late…

When Maya met Ramesh the next day in his office…she mentioned him about how cute Rushali looks in the video…and how she thinks that Rushali has that rhythm in her to do marvels in the field of Dance…!!! Without taking another second, Ramesh at once declared…. I am not going to make her a dancer…she is going to be a doctor…Maya fell silent..!!!

Rushali was yet to know how is ‘dance’ spelt…she was yet to know what it means by making a choice… she was yet to know what it is that she truly loves doing… but somewhere her fate was already sealed… somewhere a decision was already made…somewhere she was being made to believe that, there is nothing called ‘desire’ but only ‘expectations’…!!!

“Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have…and which you can ever give to anyone…”

If only… everyone knew this…

(Based on an interaction with office colleague about his daughter… names have been changed…)